true contentment

The past few weeks have been trying.  My grandmother passed away two weeks ago and what ensued was the overwhelming grieving process.  Last week my son struggled with side effects of a virus that left him unable to put pressure on his one leg to walk.  On one hand these may seem to be routine events that occur throughout our lives.  But in the midst of them, while experiencing them, they can seem overwhelming and too much to handle.  Yet it is here that I am convinced that we feel fully alive.  What do I mean by that?  As a follower of Jesus, I believe that his sacrifice on the cross atoned for my sin (past, present and future).  With this sacrifice, Jesus atoned for death and sin once and for all.  Wrapped up in the message of the Gospel is the counter-cultural news that when we die to ourselves, we are released to fully live in Jesus.  We are also released from hopelessly facing troubles and trials.  In the midst of these trials, we can actually suffer with Jesus as he comes alongside us.  These experiences then, if we are willing, draw us closer to Jesus.  At surface value the concept seems strange, unusual, odd and even ridiculous, but once you have experienced this, it is the power of God!

What I have learned in these past two weeks is all things are temporary: health, wealth, possessions.  There is one exception.  Jesus.  He is unchanging and eternal.  When I feel like I have been kicked in the gut with emotion, sickness or the weight of a burden to heavy to bear, it is here that I can truly experience the beauty of the Gospel.  You see, when I realize that I have nothing left to grasp for in this life, nothing left to hold onto, it is there that I find Jesus waiting with open arms.  It is here that Jesus picks me up, dusts the dirt off of me and says, ‘now I can heal you.’  He is willing if we submit.  What I am learning is that all too often, we try to make it through life on our own.  We feel so empowered by our culture and society believing we can do everything for ourselves.  Yet it is in times such as these, we realize that we cannot.  I could not fix my grandmother’s health any more than I could fix my son’s health.  At times, it seemed my world hung on a doctor’s diagnosis.  But then I realized that our sovereign God and King is not surprised at all by any of this.  It did not catch him off-guard.  In each situation, we choose our response.  We can run from Jesus, caught up in the weight of the situation and trying to fix it ourselves or we can run to Jesus, pressing into him and allowing ourselves to be comforted, ministered to, and loved.

These past two weeks I also learned the value of community, particularly Christian community.  I was overwhelmed with support, prayers and love from our community.  As I experienced this, I realized that this is what true Christian community should look like.  I am blessed.  We are blessed.  We love and serve a loving God.  And the more I realize this, the more I am open to receive his love.  The more I receive his love, the more I am able to love others.  It is a beautiful cycle.

So what I have come to realize even more so after these two weeks is that I am content in Jesus because in all things he is enough.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

In loving memory of my grandmother, Janet Cecilia Gardner Brittingham:

I shared this earlier today at my grandmother’s funeral service:

The word eulogy comes from the Greek word eulogia which means ‘good words.’  That is what I hope to share today on behalf of my grandmother, Janet Cecilia Gardner Brittingham.  There are so many good words that described her: humble, strong, hard worker, caring, loving daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.  Mom Mom, as her seven grandchildren affectionately called her, would have been uncomfortable with all of this attention.  She raised her son, Bob and her daughters, Janet and Mary Ellen, while Pop Pop worked to support them.  She was an amazing seamstress.  She loved football.  She worked many jobs herself.  I will never forget when she worked for the video store.  My brother, Scott, and I spent many hours watching Disney videos after school while she worked.  Mom Mom was always concerned about everyone else.  You could feel her love for you before you even got to know her.  Regardless of what name you knew her by, Janet, Jan, Ceil, Mom, Mom Mom, she made you feel welcome just by the simple “Hi hon,” she used to refer to everyone.  When I think of Mom Mom, the word presence comes to mind.  She gave you her presence and that was enough.  I had the privilege of spending many a Sunday afternoon with Mom Mom and Pop Pop driving back to Philadelphia.  Pop Pop and I would carry on deep conversations or talk about what was going on in each other’s lives or the news, but Mom Mom would just quietly and peacefully sit and listen.  She loved the Philadelphia skyline and affectionately referred to the skyscrapers that lit in the night sky as “my buildings.”  She loved you with a deep, welcoming love that just made you feel at home.  With Mom Mom you could just sit and talk and she would patiently listen and humbly offer advice when she felt it was appropriate.

I asked for a few stories about Mom Mom: Aunt Dee shared that growing up, there were lots of stories about the Gardner girls.  My Aunt Dee remembers sharing a room with Janet and Ellen when they lived on Dellwood Avenue.  She would tell them scary ghost stories and one night secretly left the room and came back in and scared them screaming with a sheet over her head.  She got in trouble and her sisters were mad at her briefly, but Janet told her privately that she liked that part and wished she’d do it again.  Janet was always very emotional.  When Dee would not return home on time, their Mom would send Janet to find her.  All the way home, Janet would worry because she would have to tell the truth about where Dee was.  When they got home their mother would ask where she was and turn to Janet and ask her.  She knew she could not lie.  Dee would be sent to her room and Janet would run behind her crying upset that she got her into trouble.

As the Gardner girls grew older, they became more and more inseparable.  They began a tradition of going out together on Friday night to go shopping and have a meal together.  They also took one weekend a year and spent it together in Wildwood, NJ.  These traditions held for a long time.

My Mom shared that her mother was her best friend. She spent every morning with her bringing her a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee and just talking about their day. One memory that really sticks with her is when she would get upset about someone saying things about her, Mom Mom would say ” Just remember when they are talking about you, they are leaving someone else alone!”  My mom is not quite sure how that was supposed to make her feel better, but because it came from her mother’s lips, it did!

You may have noticed all of the roses here this morning.  Pop Pop remembers how much Mom Mom loved roses.  He told me last night that he started when they got married giving her one rose and each year would give her another until they just became too expensive.  After 59 years, I can understand that.

Mom Mom truly had a servant heart.  She always put everyone else’s needs before hers.  Whether it was helping someone in need, baking a cake or cookies, driving friends and family around.  A few weeks ago, my daughter Madison and I visited with her.  She was in a lot of pain from the cancer, her body was beaten down from the chemotherapy, but she lit up when we came into the room.  She instantly started offering us food and drink and anything else we might want or need.  My mom was making lunch for her and making sure that she ate.  I was watching her from the dining room as she asked Pop Pop, “did she eat?”  referring to my Mom.  That was Mom Mom.  Even in the midst of her suffering, she was still caring for everyone else.

She kept Pop Pop in line.  All of the grandkids can attest to the fact that Mom Mom ran the house.  Pop Pop pretended to sometimes, but we all knew the truth.  She always kept him in line.  I remember one time when we had stopped at the Maryland House to have dinner on our way back to Philadelphia, Pop Pop started choking on his sandwich and Mom Mom looked at him and said, “Britt, cut it out!”

They loved each other so much.  They lived the picture of a loving marriage.  They had their struggles and were not perfect, but they loved each other so deeply.  It used to bring me so much joy to go places with them and watch them youthfully holding hands with each other.

She loved her coffee, her sewing, her baking.  The best thing she ever made besides her kids was her chocolate cake.  Please do not worry.  We have a research and development team working on that icing recipe as I speak.

In all seriousness, the best words that I can say about her is when I looked at her, I saw Jesus.  Mom Mom was not extremely vocal about her faith, but it undergirded who she was.  Her entire life was rooted in her love for her Savior and loving others with a servant love.  The faith that she modeled helped shaped me into the man I am today.  She was an inspiration to all who knew her.

I thank God that he granted her the grace to spend the last week of her life with her family on a cruise.  I am sure that is an experience that each one of them will cherish.

So where do we go from here?  How do we go on?  What do we do without you Mom Mom?  I’m told that as Mom Mom’s health started to decline on the cruise last week that rather than talking she would look at my grandfather and point at her eyes and then point at him to let him know that she was watching him.  She will still be watching us.  We may not physically see her in this life again, but our sweet memories of her will carry us to eternity when we are reunited with her.

Pop Pop, Mom, Uncle Bob and Aunt Dee told me right before she peacefully passed that she lifted her head up to say something to them, but they could not understand her.  I like to think she was saying I’ll see you soon in paradise.

Shakespeare wrote, “parting is such sweet sorrow.”  It is, but we know that we part for just a little while.  Right now, we are feeling the weight and the sting of death here and now.  But just as Jesus’ story did not end with death, neither does Mom Mom’s.  Her story ends with life.  Her soul has been freed from the chains of this body and she rests peacefully awaiting her Savior’s call to wake up in eternity with Him.  So rather than saying goodbye, let’s say we will see you soon as we anticipate our reunion with Mom Mom at the great banquet of our God and King.

Finally, Mom Mom would want me to thank you all for coming.  She loved you all so much.  Thank you and may God bless you.

Cancer, Inception and the kingdom of God

Friday was the type of day that reminds me of the tension between the world in which we live and the kingdom of God.  I believe that Jesus began the process of redeeming and restoring our world when he died on the cross and rose from the dead.  In our time and space this world-changing and defining act occurred.  He released us from the grip that sin and death hold on us.  Yet this kingdom that we experience within us now through the Holy Spirit can seem a bit elusive at times.  Especially when a disease like cancer seems to run rampant.  It is the idea of  “already, but not yet.”  The kingdom of heaven was ushered in and announced by Jesus, but it has not fully come yet, which is why he teaches his disciples to pray, “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Matthew 6:10.

I just learned on Friday that my grandmother has been diagnosed with cancer.  I hate cancer.  I hate that the word has the ability to cause people’s hearts to drop, their tears to flow, their fears to take over.  I hate that cancer can sometimes be viewed as a death sentence.  I hate that cancer can stamp out hope.  I hate that cancer can cause people to give up.  Here’s a scary statistic: the American Cancer Society reports that “half of all men and one-third of all women in the US will develop cancer during their lifetimes.”  This is why everyone can say that they know someone who has or has had cancer.  Cancer is caused by abnormal cells that grow out of control invading and overtaking the body if untreated.  How can we put a positive spin on cancer?  Well, I think cancer can be a wonderful image for the kingdom of God.  Jesus spoke about the kingdom being like a mustard seed.  In a similar way to a mustard plant, the cancer cell grows quickly and quietly.  It eventually infiltrates the body and takes over.  Jesus preached the good news that the kingdom of heaven is here, it is near to you.  It is a kingdom of love, of servants and of redemption.  This, however, is quite different from cancer because the kingdom is not scary, it is exciting, it is something to long for.

Inception is an amazing movie.  My wife and I went to see it Friday night and were totally blown away.  In the film the characters steal secrets from people’s dreams.  There is one job in particular which deals with inception.  Inception is described as planting a new idea in someone’s brain.  The main character Cobb says at one point in the film, “an idea is like a virus, it is highly contagious. It can grow to define you or grow to destroy you.”  I think this statement can be true.  It struck me that this is the interesting dynamic and difference between the kingdom of God and cancer.  I long to grow into the kingdom of God more and more each day so that it defines me and my life.  Cancer grows to destroy you so we have chemotherapy and radiation to combat it and hopefully overtake it.

Jesus announced the kingdom is coming, it is in fact here, but not fully yet.  He is returning and he is going kick cancer’s ass when he returns.  I can’t wait.  Cancer does NOT define us.  Cancer does not dictate who we are or who we have become.  There are no cancer patients.  There are only patients who happen to have cancer.  And as Cobb said, if we allow something negative, damaging, destructive or disruptive define us, it will destroy us.  We are already broken image bearers.  God’s image does not reflect very well from our damaged and distorted shells (bodies).  In the same way that we can allow cancer to define us and destroy us, we can allow ourselves to be tricked into thinking that we were simply made for this temporary life and not eternity.  And when we allow that to happen, we are so focused on what happens to us here that we have no hope for the future because we forget or deny that the future exists.  But we must have hope.  We must hope for what Jesus has finished to come to fruition in the restoring and recreating all things.  I long for it, I yearn for it…”He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!” Revelation 22:20.  Come quickly…

Photos

Last weekend, we took a trip to our local park and brought our friend, Rebeca, along to take some photographs of my son to commemorate his first birthday.  She captured some amazing shots of my son and my daughter.  I always thought the key to portrait photography is capturing the person in a natural and authentic shot, rather than a pose.  Rebeca definitely did this with these shots.  I also love the composition of each of them.  I hope you enjoy these as much as I do.  Let me know if you are interested in contacting her for booking information.